I’m deleting my social media in the next few months. I’ve grown tired of being reachable. I imagine that this is a somewhat relatable feeling these days. Personally, it was a combination of embracing my introversion during the pandemic years and the necessary fact of being constantly reachable by virtue of being perpetually online that has led to this near-constant social burnout I feel. Some days, I feel like I can barely muster the energy necessary to take genuine interest in the people I care about deeply, and that is disrespectful. I hope to take a long, if not permanent, break from social media, to rest and recharge.
I am currently in that era of transition between things. I will no longer be a student in two short weeks, and as yet I do not know what I am after that. It’s easy to say that I’m me, but perhaps it’s a bit naive to ignore the fact that we often define ourselves not only on our history, but our actions as well. However, the academic fatigue burns too strongly for me to continue schooling, but the itch for novelty is keeping me from settling down anywhere either. I need time and space to discover what it is that I am headed towards. It is a hard enough decision to pluck a fig, let alone when the entire world has my ear. While it is a blessing that we are able to communicate with each other across vast distances in such rapid time, it easily overwhelms us and demands all of our attention, time and energy.
There have been periods of my uni days in which my phone was broken, and those many months were some of the most refreshing in memory. When my first phone broke, I spent a few months simply enjoying my friends’ company, wandering about, fully at attention. When my second phone broke, I spent the next two months reading a book every few days. I was reachable only in-person and when I opened my laptop, and I felt much more energized and capable of spending quality time with people. I hope to be able to reproduce that state of mind voluntarily this time, by abandoning short-term modes of communication.
As evidenced by the existence of these words, I am not becoming a luddite, nor am I going fully off the grid. At some point, I suppose I will return to the digital world, if I find I have the energy for it again. Moreover, I am a nostalgic person. I cherish each person and each memory that has brought me joy, taught me lessons, and made me who I am. So I will be back. The world is small; we will see each other again. That much is certain.