In some amount of time, I will be finishing my university experience. As it stands, I do not intend to continue in academia for some time. I have the same regret now that I did my very first day of school, which is that I wish I cared more about my studies. It’s interesting, it’s challenging, and it’s not the primary endeavor in my life right now.
I’d rather be learning artisan crafts, like woodworking and bookbinding, reading literature by Ursula Le Guin and John Steinbeck, watching films, working the land and discovering the joy of a bright red tomato. This is of course, a romanticization of a life that I do not currently possess. And it will be inevitable that I will pursue it and be unhappy in that pursuit. But still, is the pursuit not worth it? As I left the US knowing that I would regret it every day for the rest of my life if I didn’t, so too will I leave Europe for Oceania and Asia in the same manner. There is something out there still that I can’t quite taste but it is the object of my desires nonetheless. The world is so large and I am so small, and it would bring me no greater joy than to experience as much of it as possible.
So here I am, preparing for the end. I will graduate, I will delete social media, and I will leave behind yet another world which I know in favor of the unknown.